The beginning of something wonderful

Now begins the rest of my life and it's just as terrifying as it is wonderful. I've never really thought much beyond these two goals in my life: get my music degree, and marry the love of my life. Two of my most significant dreams, really the most important dreams of my youth, have come true. And now is a new chapter, a scary chapter, but a wonderful one too.

I don't really know what to think of everything yet. I've only been married for three and a half weeks, which isn't long at all, and certainly not enough time to get used to being married. I like the way they did it in the olden days, having a month-long honeymoon ("moon" - month). If only!

Two of the groomsmen had a bet going that Lael would cry at some point during the ceremony. I know I did when I had to say my vows. It was hard to get the words out. For Lael though, the moment where he choked up was actually after the vows - when we did communion.

Communion meant a lot to me too. It was one of Pastor Tony's ideas as a possible addition to the ceremony if we wanted. The point of it was to remember what Jesus did for us as our very first action as a married couple, to honour Him first in our marriage. For me though, it was also healing to receive emblems of forgiveness and cleansing now that we were married. Never again would we have to deal with the "yellow traffic light" of engagement. It was now green. This might seem like it's not very important, but in fact I believe that a person's sexual morality and behaviour has a direct link to their relationship with God as a whole. Not only was this true for me (I struggled with feelings of guilt and uncertainty during our engagement), but I've seen it to be true for other people time and time again.

I'm just so glad that God gave me the grace to be able to do things right. I don't take any credit for it - He was the One who kept me within boundaries, led me along, and helped me to honour Him. And He was faithful to me. He made me a witness and an abnormality in this broken and disfigured world. And He rewarded me for seeking to submit to His ways, His laws, His plan. It's a great start and I hope I don't mess it up. Now I just have random fears every now and again that things will go wrong in our marriage some day, but I know that no matter what, I'm not going anywhere. And I know he won't either.

Right now it seems almost too good to be true. It's very healing to have someone love you so personally, intimately, passionately. I'm actually kind of ridiculous at work because I'm so giddy and overconfident.